12/24/23 Sermon
Luke 2:41-52
Now every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up as usual for the festival. When the festival was ended and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Assuming that he was in the group of travelers, they went a day’s journey. Then they started to look for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” He said to them, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and in years, and in divine and human favor.
SERMON
Let me tell you about the scariest 45 minutes of my entire life. Back in 2010 Beverly my wife was having a surgery that they weren’t sure if it was going to be an easy one where they could go in arthoscopicly or if they would have to make major incisions. Obviously, depending on what they did her recovery time would be vastly different and they wouldn’t know until they got her in there for the surgery. So, I did what any father of four very young children would do at the time. I called my mommy.
My Dad enthusiastically offered to lend my mom to me for however long I needed her. In fact, I think his exact words were, “The longer, the better!” And so my mom came to help me. One the day of the surgery, I got the two older kids off to school and left Isaac and Olivia who were like 3 and 1 with my fully capable mom. And I took my wife to the hospital. And I waited. The nurse came out and told me They were able to do the surgery arthoscopicly. All was good. They showed me to the room she’d come in to after recovery. And I waited. And that’s when the scariest 45 minutes of my life began. My cell rang and I answered it. It was my mom. The first thing she says is that Isaac is on his way to the hospital. Which caused me wonder how badly he could have misbehaved that she was sending him to me at the hospital. Then the story came out.
She was taking Isaac and Olivia for a walk when Isaac momentarily let go of her hand, darted into the busy highway that ran through our town and was struck by a car. She wasn’t sending him there because he was in trouble. He was coming by ambulance. So, I rush down to the emergency room. The nurse in the er had no idea what I was talking about. Then as I was standing there the call from the ambulance bringing my son to the hospital came in. And she wondered how I had gotten there so fast. And I explained to her that I was waiting for my wife to get out of surgery upstairs. She told me she’d let me know as soon as the ambulance was there. And I waited.
Seeing him come in on a gurney with a tiny neck-brace on was about the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen. But By what I can only consider a miracle, he only had a scratch on his elbow and newfound fear of moving cars. But for me, those 45 minutes waiting for him were the most terrifying in my life. That night I put Isaac in my bed and checked on him every 15 minutes. I don’t think I slept a wink that night. As for my mom, well I don’t think she’s recovered yet. Of course it doesn’t help that when we’re all together and I’m introducing my kids to her friends, I sometimes refer to Isaac as the grandchild she pushed in front of a car.
I’m glad I had kids before I understood how hard it is to be a parent. Being a parent is the most rewarding and most frustrating thing I’ve ever done. It’s so hard and it doesn’t get any easier from what I can tell. The kids get bigger and the problems get bigger. The worst thing and the hardest thing is watching your child suffer or even just trying to keep them safe. We spend so much time trying to protect our kids, trying to shield them from danger or pain or heartache. And yet, it’s a battle we’ll never win. So much is out of our control. So many things happen that we can’t stop and we can’t shield them from it. Much of their lives and what happens to them is totally out of our control. I think that’s the hardest thing about being a parent. Trying to keep my kids safe knowing that no matter what I do, I’m not going to be successful at it. My kids are going to be hurt somehow and in some way.
You know, the story of the Buddha is partly the story of a father trying to protect his son from suffering. The legend goes that at Siddhartha’s birth a sage came into the royal court and told his father the king that the baby would grow up to be either a great ruler or a great spiritual leader. So, the king shielded the boy from things that would make him look inward or consider spiritual matters in order that he would grow up and be a king. So death was hidden from him. Poverty and disease were hidden from him. But despite the king’s best efforts Siddhartha got a glimpse of these things. And that began his journey into trying to discover why we suffer. And that journey led him to be the Buddha.
There’s that song “Mary did you know?” that everyone really likes around this time of year. I noticed that as much as it talks about Jesus delivering people, it doesn’t ask Mary if she knew about the price that would be paid or the great suffering entailed for that deliverance. It doesn’t ask Mary if she knows the hardships this beautiful new baby she holds will face in his life and in his death. She was his mother. She loved him like only a mother can love a child. Much different than how you and I have come to love the Christ child. I’d love it if in that song it had just the simple line, Mary did you know that one day this child will break your heart? She was his mother; bonded to him in a way we’ll never fully understand; feeling his pain as if it were her own.
Here in our reading today, I can almost hear her voice. Jesus, what are you doing?? Your father and I were worried sick about you? Are you trying to give us a heart attack?? Funny how in my head, Jesus’s mom sounds exactly like my mom or my wife for that matter. I’ve noticed now being a step-father, that at first reading Jesus seems to give some step-kid teenage snark with his answer “I was at my Father’s house.” I accidentally read that at first as “I was at my REAL dad’s house.” Always a fun little jab. Then it says he went down with them to Nazareth and was obedient to them, which I might add I count as the first miracle… an obedient child.
It’s a very human moment. Where have you been?? We’ve been worried sick about you! And the child not understanding the potential danger and risk involved with his actions answers, I was right here all the time. Missing for 3 days in the capital city - one of the more dangerous places to be. She was worried sick about him. She was his mother. And as parents we have a deep desire to keep our children safe.
But we can’t, can we? And as the story of this little baby, this little child that leads us, unfolds there’ll be many bumps and twists in the road. People who hate him. People who throw stones at him. In fact, one time Mary and her other children come looking for Jesus fearing that he’s lost his mind. And the path Jesus is on eventually leads to his arrest, his torture, and his death. The amount of heartache this woman will face because of who her child is and the amount of suffering he’ll go through is astounding… Mary did you know that one day this child will break your heart?
Interestingly enough, the Gospels never say if Jesus saw his mother after the resurrection. They record her there at the crucifixion but she disappears after that and we never hear from her again. I imagine her grief was just too much. And so we never know if she sees Jesus after the resurrection. We don’t know if she got to gaze into her child’s eyes that one last time…
And so what does this say to us as parents? What does it say to those of us who have kids in our lives that we care about whether they’re our own or not? I don’t know. I want to say that it says that heartache is good because it shows we care and are invested in another human being. It shows that love is real. I want to say it teaches us about empathy because we truly feel the pain of our children. And I think it does say that but it also says something ugly about the world we live in. Because it reminds us that pain and suffering are inevitable in this life. It’s unavoidable. Our children will get hurt and sometimes those hurts will be so deep they may never fully heal. And as parents, as people who Really love them, there’s nothing we can do to protect them from it or save them from the pains and struggles and hurts of this life or from the fact that this world can be a dangerous and scary place.
So, maybe the goal isn’t to protect them, but to prepare them and prepare ourselves for the world in which they live. To teach them that there are some ways of being in the world that cause more hurt and other ways that can lead to healing. Maybe we’re here as safety nets. So that they know that no matter what’s going on or what’s happening in their lives, they have a place and some people to fall back on no matter what. Maybe our job is to prepare them to lead us into a better future. Or maybe we’re just supposed to love them and teach them what unconditional love looks like even when they break our hearts. I don’t know. I haven’t figured out this whole parenting thing yet.
All I really know is that when I sit back and think about it, is that no matter what happens with these kids of mine, I feel like they teach me more than they’ll ever know. They’ve taught me that I’m not as patient as I once thought I was and they’ve taught me what it means to truly be frustrated with another person, sure. But they’ve also taught me what it means to unconditionally love someone. And how to love deeply and fully. They’ve taught me what empathy really means and looks like. What it really feels like to share someone’s pain. They’ve shown me what faith looks like and They’ve taught me an understanding that there’s so much out of my control. They’ve taught me responsibility and how to be selfless and that my wants aren’t as important as the needs of others. And the ironic thing is, these lessons that they’ve been teaching me are the same exact lessons that I, in turn, am trying to teach them.
And so we hold on, hoping for the best, knowing the heartaches will come. And we do our best knowing it isn’t perfect but trying to minimize the psychological damage we do to our own kids. And we laugh with them. And we cry with them. And we cry FOR them more than they’ll ever know. And we love them beyond belief. And we pray that it’ll be enough. And you know what? It is. No matter what will happen and no matter what has happened, our love is enough. Because that love is a bond that will never separate us no matter the twists and turns in the road, no matter the heartache and frustrations, no matter the pain and the hurt, our love is enough. It’s enough to get them through and it’s enough to get us through.
Amen.