6/30/24 Sermon

Mark 5:21-43

Jesus crossed the lake again, and on the other side a large crowd gathered around him on the shore. Jairus, one of the synagogue leaders, came forward. When he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet and pleaded with him, “My daughter is about to die. Please, come and place your hands on her so that she can be healed and live.” So Jesus went with him.

A swarm of people were following Jesus, crowding in on him. A woman was there who had been bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a lot under the care of many doctors, and had spent everything she had without getting any better. In fact, she had gotten worse. Because she had heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his clothes. She was thinking, If I can just touch his clothes, I’ll be healed. Her bleeding stopped immediately, and she sensed in her body that her illness had been healed.

At that very moment, Jesus recognized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched my clothes?”

His disciples said to him, “Don’t you see the crowd pressing against you? Yet you ask, ‘Who touched me?’” But Jesus looked around carefully to see who had done it.

The woman, full of fear and trembling, came forward. Knowing what had happened to her, she fell down in front of Jesus and told him the whole truth. He responded, “Daughter, your faith has healed you; go in peace, healed from your disease.”

While Jesus was still speaking with her, messengers came from the synagogue leader’s house, saying to Jairus, “Your daughter has died. Why bother the teacher any longer?”

But Jesus overheard their report and said to the synagogue leader, “Don’t be afraid; just keep trusting.” He didn’t allow anyone to follow him except Peter, James, and John, James’ brother. They came to the synagogue leader’s house, and he saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. He went in and said to them, “What’s all this commotion and crying about? The child isn’t dead. She’s only sleeping.”

They laughed at him, but he threw them all out. Then, taking the child’s parents and his disciples with him, he went to the room where the child was. Taking her hand, he said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means, “Young woman, get up.” Suddenly the young woman got up and began to walk around. She was 12 years old. They were shocked! He gave them strict orders that no one should know what had happened. Then he told them to give her something to eat.

This may sound obvious and its going to make me feel old to say it, but being a teenager when I was growing up was a lot different than it is now. For instance, if you really wanted to have a private conversation with a friend without worrying about your parents’ picking up the phone, you had to leave the house and meet them somewhere. There wasn’t social media to connect with and meet new people. So, we all would go to this place called Eat ’n Park which is similar to a Denny’s. Almost every Friday night, one of my friends would come around and pick up a gang of us and we’d go do what teenage boys tried to do in the 90s. We’d try to pick up girls at Eat ’n Park.

This meant that you had to dress cool and look cool. My friends and I were all dorks and had no idea what that meant. But we tried our best. Every Friday night when we would go pick up our one friend, his parents always insisted that we all come to the door to collect him for some reason. And every Friday night the same thing happened. His mom would answer the door and make us stand in the foyer, my friend would come out, and his dad would walk up, give us a look over and say “Look at you boys all dressed up pretending to be someone.” And then he’d walk away. Every Friday night. “Look at you boys all dressed up pretending to be someone.” And we’d all roll our eyes because clearly his dad didn’t understand what it’s like to be cool.

Its been almost 30 years since that happened every Friday night and the Eat ’n Park we’d go to to meet girls was torn down and is now a Chik Filet. But there are still times in my life where I’ll look in the mirror at myself before I go to do something and I can still hear my friend’s dad in my head, “look at you all dressed up pretending to be someone.” I still wonder if he was on to something. Am I trying to be someone? And it makes me wonder just who I am… at the time I didn’t realize that my friend’s dad was trying to instill into us an existential crisis. But here we are…

And So I asked myself, you know, “Just who do you think you are?” Because I felt like if I had a good handle on who I am now, it might give me good insight in who I want to be. What do I like about myself and want to keep? What do I not like about myself and want to get rid of? And as I was doing that and thinking it through, I realized that who I think I am and who you think I am are probably WORLDS apart. I realized that I’m probably not who you think I am. But that’s ok because I’m probably not who Iiiii think I am either.

You see, my experience of myself and my perception of who I am is different than your perception and experience of who I am - which is different than my wife’s - and my mother’s - and my father’s - and my daughter’s perception and experience of me. Everybody sees me and experiences me differently - as almost entirely different people sometimes. And it’s scientifically proven that our self-perceptions about who we are and how we come across to others, are usually way off in many ways too. So for my second round of depression this year, I got to thinking and realized that what this means is that the person that I think I am - who I think and believe myself to be - that person I think I am only exists in my head. That person isn’t real. And I was worried I was starting to go crazy until I realized it’s ok because it also means that the person that you think you are only exists in your head too. So now we’re both crazy.

What I’m starting to think is that we live this life by just simply entering into an unspoken social agreement with everyone we meet. I’ll pretend you’re who you say you are and in return you’ll pretend I’m who I say I am. And we’ll both agree that we’re the most important people in this universe.

Now, how we come up with who we say we are and these roles and definitions is different for each of us and it’s usually pretty fascinating how it happens when we think it through. Generally what we seem to do is we end up defining who we are - or who we think we are - from all these different examples that we’re given throughout our lives of who we and others think we’re supposed to be, of what we’re supposed to do, and how we’re supposed to act. We look to our parents and other role models we’re given in our life whether by personal connection or by pop culture or by society and we say, “Well, I’m a spouse and parent now and these are the examples I have of how spouses and parents act. So, I guess I’m supposed to act like that and be like that.” And then we look at other people and say, “See? I’m acting like a married parent !” and everyone then agrees - That’s who Quincy is. He’s a married parent. So an example is like do I really think dad jokes are actually funny or do I really just think I’m supposed to find them funny?

Think about it. Even right now we’re participating in one of these social agreements. We’ve agreed that right now I’m in the minister role and you’re in the congregation role. There’s no real good reason why I’m up here in this role and you’re in that one. It’s just what we agreed on. You let me just walk up here and start talking. You might regret letting me do that, but you totally just let me do it and we all agreed that I’m supposed to for some reason. It’s not that I’m special in any way or any different than you. We just simply agreed that I’m in the minister role today and you’re in the congregation role. I mean We can switch roles next week if you want. You’re more than welcome to come up here and I’ll be more than happy to sit down there. But really that’s all that’s going on here. I said I’ll take this role this morning and no one stopped me. We all just agreed to pretend that I am who I say I am and that you’re who you say you are.

I’ve been wondering about what happens if someone starts to realize that while we all have roles we have to fill, what if these roles aren’t actually “real?” We might still have to fill a particular role at any given moment, but we don’t have to think we’re actually that thing just because we’re in that role, right? Like just because I played the role of Felix Unger in the Odd Couple back in high school, that doesn’t mean I ever was or I currently am Felix Unger. So if I’m not dad, son, husband, minister, or even Quincy - if these roles don’t actually define who I am - then who I am and what in the world does this have to do with the scripture reading this morning?

For me, at least, what’s starting to happen as I realize that these roles that I play at any given moment - whether by necessity or choice isn’t what defines me, it feels like an old life is dying away a new life is emerging. Yes, we still have to fill certain roles at any given time. It’s part of the social contract. Its how we can function both individually and as a society. But these roles don’t define who we are as people. They’re simply functions we’re performing and fulfilling at any particular moment. But they don’t define us. They aren’t who we are. And when we - or at least when I - realize that, it truly feels like an old life of being defined by these rolls dies away.

And so the question becomes and the question still stands that if we’re not defined by these things and we’re not who we think we are, then how do we define and understand and see ourselves? Who are we? And that’s where I get drawn into what it is we recognize in our baptism. That before we have these roles, before we have these definitions, before we even have any comprehension of a self, we’re told that we are a precious child of God. Its the first role that we step in to. And this definition of being a precious child of God is the first and primary identity we’re given.

And so when we use language around things like remembering our baptism, or the old life dying away and a new life emerging, or even being born again, I wonder if what the originators of this language were trying to point us to, is that when we shed all the other criteria of how we and others have chosen to define who we are, when we let go of all those things trying to tell us who or what we are and what we’re supposed to do and how we’re supposed to act, and we realize that the first and ultimate definition of who any of us are is a precious child of God - and we truly embrace that - then its really as though an old life, an old way of being, that person we once thought we were - dies away and the person God intends us to be begins to emerge. We remember our baptism by remembering that who we are isn’t defined by what we are or what people perceive us to be or the roles we fill, but instead who we are is defined by a God who heaps grace upon grace on us and loves us immeasurably.

Now, there are certain rhetorical tools and poetry Mark uses here when conveying these stories of healing this morning. We begin by Jesus being introduced into the story of the dying daughter and then get interrupted by the woman who’s been suffering for 12 years and then Jesus goes and resurrects this 12 year old girl. You notice that? A woman suffering for 12 years and a girl who’s been alive 12 years? Mark is trying to get us to think metaphorically or symbolically. Theres a connection here. There’s a deeper truth here. There has to be.

Sometimes I wonder why the Gospel writers include these stories of miracles. If it’s just to report what happened… ok… that’s really cool but honestly who really cares anymore? It’s may be the greatest magic show ever recorded but it’s still just a magic show. It doesn’t really affect me or change anything. It’s not like Jesus has brought back to life the people I love like he does here in Mark. And why this girl and not another? Kids back then died with even more frequency than they do today. Did this girl go on to do something amazing? Why was her life more worth saving than the kid down the street? I almost want to say who is God to choose who lives and who dies or who’s more worthy of more life, but you know… I guess God is God and if anyone gets to decide these things… it’s God…

But it becomes problematic and irrelevant to me and my life today if we just stop at the literal story. So, lets look at this: This woman is bleeding for 12 years. In the Greek, It’s a specific bleeding only women do. She’s been menstruating for 12 years which is awful all by itself. But back then it’s even worse because it made you untouchable. No one could sit where you’ve sat or touch anything you’ve touched and even worse, you can’t touch anyone and no one can touch you because they’d become unclean. So she would have been homeless and literally untouched for 12 years., Jesus may very well have been the very first person she’s intentionally touched in 12 years. And notice that Jesus doesn’t freak out about becoming unclean. Instead He responds with concern and compassion and the woman is healed. Her old life of being homeless and literally untouchable, of being outcast and unlovable, of constant pain and suffering, of being defined by the role of unclean person - that old life has died away a new life emerges.

And we don’t know what happens to her after this just like we don’t know what happens to this little girl after she’s brought back to life. So it may be conjecture - but I can’t imagine that if you die and then come back to life again - that you’re the same person either. Everyone I’ve talked to that’s either been that close to death or has died and come back will be the first ones to tell you that they aren’t the same person they were before it. And maybe Mark connects the story of the little girl being brought back to life here to this woman being healed not just to give us yet another example of Jesus’ power to work miracles, but maybe Mark connects these two stories to reinforce and drive home the point that the old life is gone and a new life has begun. That we have to die to our old ways, our old understandings, our old definitions, and our old perceptions of who we think we are and how we define ourselves in order to embrace the life God truly intends for us and to become who God truly intends us to be.

Maybe I’m a little slow that’s taken me almost 41 years to finally begin realizing and understanding that I’m not defined by things like my vocation. I’m not defined by being a father or a husband or by my parents or my background or the way I grew up or the narratives I’ve been told and that I’ve repeated to myself about who I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to do and how I’m supposed to act. They inform who I am but they don’t define me - at least they don’t have to. And this realization has felt like a death in many ways to me because who I thought I was only exists in my mind. That person who was at least real to me doesn’t even exist. It’s as though he died. And yet, I’m still alive.

And so a new life starts to emerge in the place of the old life I thought I had - and this new life so far is something different - not any better or any worse - its just different. Like I said, I’m still a terrible person; but like I said I feel less terrible today. And if I’m lucky and if I’m intentional about this new life, if I can hold on to this awareness about the old life and the old definitions not really being real, then I can remember and I can live into the truth that the only thing that truly defines me is that I am a precious child of God… And the only thing that truly defines you - or my wife - or my parents - or my kids - or anyone else is that they too are a precious child of God - just like me.

And these roles that we each have to play - they don’t need to limit who we are and what we can and can’t do or who we can become. But rather they can be the tools we simply utilize in order to be who God sees and intends us to be. The new life that emerges is free. It isn’t shackled by limitations, definitions, and misconceptions. This new life puts things in a different perspective with different priorities.

We’re not defined by the roles we play. We’re defined by our preciousness to God and time and time again we’re reminded that to God, we are precious beyond all measure. So be defined by that and go find your new life because we don’t only live once, we’re free to live every day now if we choose it . Every morning we can choose whether or not the old life is gone and if a new life begins.